Expected
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: In an alternate universe, where your soulmate's name appears on your arm at the age of eighteen. Kakashi finds out his student is bound to be his soulmate and he has no idea what to do about it.


"Senpai?" Kakashi heard as he leapt from branch to branch. He looked over his shoulder to see the young anbu trying to catch up to him.

He slowed down, "What, Tenzou?"

"Well, I know it's your birthday today," Tenzou started a little shyly.

Kakashi sighed, already guessing what this was about, "I didn't look, Tenzou."

Kakashi could see the strange look his kohai was giving him even through his anbu mask, "What? Why not?"

"You'll understand when you're older," Kakashi answered him cryptically.

Tenzou sighed beside him and Kakashi held back a laugh, "Senpai."

Kakashi didn't reply right away, but Tenzou kept glancing at him as they ran home so he gave in, "I just don't want to know."

"But why?"

"I don't want a soulmate," Kakashi told him simply and Tenzou finally dropped it.

Whenever someone turned eighteen, the name of their soulmate appeared on their arm. But Kakashi didn't want to know, he never had. There was too much uncertainty with it. What if he saw an enemy's name? It wasn't uncommon, especially in the anbu faction. Or he could see a fallen comrade's name. Someone who's death had been his fault. And even if it wasn't. That could happen someday. And he didn't want to be the cause of someone's death, especially his soulmate. He knew it could still happen, even without him knowing. But he chose ignorance. Wasn't there a saying that ignorance was bliss?

Kakashi tried to never look at the name on his arm. He'd cover it with bandages while never looking. Only ever changing them when they became dirty or torn. He'd done this for two years, but his luck ran out eventually. He got hurt coming back from a mission and had a large cut on his arm.

He avoided looking that way like he usually did, until the medic told him, "Hatake-san, I need your help bandaging this. I sprained my wrist earlier and can't do it by myself."

Kakashi regretfully looked her way and she gestured towards his arm. He looked down, seeing a long gash that was almost parallel to his soulmate's name. Written in red ink it read, _Haruno Sakura_.

Kakashi tried to not think about it and just focused on helping the medic. But he couldn't help it. The relief he felt that the name wasn't familiar to him. That it wasn't a name in a bingo book. He didn't think she was an anbu member, but couldn't be for sure. They used codenames for a reason. And thankfully, he didn't recognize her name from the memorial stone, he would know from how often he stood in front of it. Maybe he'd never meet her. Maybe she lived somewhere else, somewhere far away. He only hoped so, it would be for the best, at least for her.

Kakashi stared at the letters on the page, still in shock. He was on top of Hokage Mountain, laying on his back a small paper gripped tightly in his hand. Three names were written on the page, each more daunting than the last.

Sandaime had given him the last Uchiha with hopes Kakashi could train him to use his sharringan. It wasn't much of a shock to him, he had been expecting it. Then, he also had Minato-sensei's son, Naruto. Not even considering that he had the kyubi sealed away in him, he was the child of his beloved sensei. He couldn't mess that up. And the last name was where most of his shock was coming from, _Haruno Sakura_.

Kakashi wondered if Sandaime knew. If he could see the shock in Kakashi's lone eye when he was handed his genin team's names. Even if he had, which he surely did, he probably chalked up to the two boys. He didn't know, no one knew. Kakashi had never told anyone his soulmate's name, not that many people did. It was considered a very intimate thing and unless you were married, most people covered the ink on their arm.

His _student_ was his soulmate. _What the hell?_ There was a fourteen year age gap. Did the gods think he was some kind of pervert? Sure, he walked around reading Icha Icha, but this had nothing on that. He pulled up his sleeve and looked at the name. It was even _red_ , the mark of _lovers_. Soulmates weren't always romantically involved. Sometimes they were best friends or even siblings. The ink appeared in different colors and over time they had learned what each color meant. Red was for lovers. Kakashi groaned, yanking his sleeve back down. _Seriously, what the hell?_

Well no matter what, he wasn't going to do anything about it. He wasn't going to tell her, he wasn't going to tell anyone. He knew she'd find out someday, either when she turned eighteen or if she chose, when she became a jounin. But he'd deal with that when that day came, _if_ it came. He hoped it would, he hoped she made it to that day. That she didn't die in her youth, like so many of his comrades. That she didn't die under his watch. Another death for him to be responsible for.

"Kakashi," a sweet voice called out to him as she walked towards him. She was a little out of breath from their spar and still had sweat glistening against her skin.

Kakashi looked up at her, "Good spar, Sakura. You get closer to beating this old man every time."

She smiled at him and collapsed beside him against the tree he was leaning on. She reached for her water in her pack with a chuckle, "You're not old, Kakashi."

Kakashi looked away from her and across the field, "Fourteen years older than you."

He could see Sakura looking at him oddly out of the corner of his eye. She shrugged, "So? I don't care." She winked at him, "I can kick your ass no matter how old you are."

Kakashi laughed lightly, "I guess so."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, just looking up at the blue sky through the leaves. Kakashi could see why Shikamaru enjoyed cloud watching so much, but it did give him a lot of time to think.

Sakura was turning eighteen in a few days and he had no idea how she was going to react to the name on her arm. Sure, they had become more like friends than teacher and student since the war. But that was different. He couldn't imagine the disappointment Sakura was going to feel when she found out her soulmate was her old sensei. She was probably hoping for a love story she could tell her kids about. Something like a young man that she never noticed who she saw every day at the hospital falling in love.

Kakashi had grown quite fond of Sakura over the years. But he wasn't surprised, it was to be expected. Soulmates always had a strong bond, a love between them no matter what kind of relationship it was. He loved her already even if he wasn't _in_ love with her. She was only seventeen and despite his circumstances Kakashi still was not a pervert. He thought back to all the times he had watched her almost die, the fear he had felt, the panic. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. He loved her, of course he did. He should've expected it more.

Sakura's thoughts seemed to be along the same lines as Kakashi as she told him, "I turn eighteen in a couple days."

"I know," Kakashi replied, trying not to sound too sad about it, "Is there something in particular you want?"

Sakura shook her head, "No, I was just thinking about…"

She trailed off, but Kakashi knew what she was talking about, "Are you excited?"

He was surprised when she sighed, "No."

Kakashi looked over at her and asked, "Why not?"

She shrugged and met his eyes, "I don't know. What if…"

Kakashi rose an eyebrow, ignoring the nerves in his stomach, "What is it, Sakura?"

Sakura turned and laid down on the grass, resting her head on Kakashi's leg. She looked up at the sky and Kakashi's heart broke at the look in her eyes. She almost looked _scared_. She spoke in a soft voice, "What if they're my enemy? What if _I've_ killed them? What if…they're dead?"

Kakashi couldn't help it when he chuckled and she looked up at him angrily. He waved his hand at her, "No, no, it's not really that funny. It's just that's exactly how I felt about it."

She looked at him curiously, "Really?"

Kakashi nodded, his hand coming down to run his fingers through her hair, "Yeah, I was already a jounin before your age, so I didn't get to postpone it. But I did manage to not look at the name for two years."

Sakura snorted, "Whatever? How did you do that?"

"I covered my arm in bandages."

Sakura laughed and Kakashi glared at her playfully, "It's rude to make fun of your old sensei, Sakura-chan."

Sakura quieted down, "I'm sorry. It's just that you must have been so scared. It's hard to imagine you like that. _The Great Copy Nin_ scared."

Kakashi rolled his eyes, "I get scared, too, Sakura."

Sakura quirked an eyebrow at him and he looked down at her, "I fought in two wars, had to watch my loved ones die. Had to watch my precious students almost get killed…by _each other_."

Sakura didn't say anything for a moment and then she said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he smiled at her through his mask and she returned it.

They went back to laying there in silence, listening to the wind shake the leaves and the rustle of animals in the trees. Then, Sakura asked him, "What happened? With your soulmate?"

Kakashi shrugged, "Nothing."

Sakura bit her lip and he could tell she was trying to decide when she should stop, "Have I met them?"

Kakashi tried to think of how to answer that, without outright lying, so he settled for, "That's hard to answer."

Sakura rolled her eyes at him, "Always so cryptic."

He chuckled and asked her, "So, what're you going to do?"

It took a minute for her to answer, then she said, "I'm going to have the seal placed so I can wait until I'm a jounin."

"It won't be that long until you're promoted," Kakashi warned, trying not to sound as relieved as he was.

"I know, but it'll give me some more time. Maybe by then, I won't feel so apprehensive about it. I don't get why they even make you reveal it. It should be a choice."

Kakashi shrugged, "I don't know. It's what we've always done, though. The council has always considered it a good thing. Soulmates keep you happy, sane, _loved_. They're good for people who've seen loss, experienced tragedy, PTSD. They help with it, they help you deal with it all. They can't make it go away, but it's nice to have someone there for you. Someone to lean on when you need it."

Sakura sighed with a nod, "I guess you're right. I'm still going to wait, though."

"Maybe that's for the best."

She was twenty-two when Naruto told her. She tried to convince him like she had Tsunade to just wait a little longer. But he just shook his head, saying if she continued to refuse promotion, then she'd stay a chunnin and they would break the seal anyway. He told her they'd break her seal at the end of the week and she was thankful she at least had that much longer.

She had thought as she'd got older, she'd warm up to the idea of soulmates, but it had only got worse. She'd seen the good in soulmates, seen how happy Ino and Shikamaru were. Seen how close and loyal Hinata and Neji were, the first green ink she had seen, for _family_.

But she had also seen the bad. How depressed Naruto was when Sasuke refused to stay in the village, going off on his own _missions_. How Naruto would look down longingly at the blue ink on his arm that Sasuke's name was written in. Or the beautiful dragon tattoo Tsunade had gotten to cover up red ink. She still didn't know if it was Jiraiya or Dan's name, but she didn't dare ask. It's not like it mattered, Tsunade had loved them both and neither of them were here.

"So, tomorrow, huh?" Kakashi asked her, handing her a mug of tea.

She nodded, taking a drink from her mug. She was at Kakashi's lounging on his couch, where she usually found herself when she wasn't busy at the hospital or on a mission. He sunk into the couch beside her, moving to where he was on his back and his legs draped over Sakura's lap.

She rolled her eyes at him affectionately, her fingers playing with the fabric of his pants. He told her, "Just remember that it doesn't matter. Whoever's name is on your arm, you can still fall in love with someone else. You don't have to be with them if you don't want to."

"You always say that," Sakura looked over at him with a soft smile, "But still everyone tells me that I _will_ want to."

Kakashi shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. He knew she was right, not many people rejected their soulmates. It usually hurt if you did or you'd at least never be happier with anyone else. Kakashi still felt guilty, though, no matter how Sakura dealt with it. She deserved someone better.

He looked over at her, sitting there thoughtfully on his couch looking as comfortable as she always did around him. He wondered if that had anything to do with them being soulmates. If it was why they were such good friends. His eyes trailed down from her long pink hair to her neck to the curve of her breast. Every time she breathed, he could see it, the stretch of the red fabric across her chest. He tore his eyes away back to her face and he was met with green that looked back at him curiously.

He looked away from her, his heart beating out of rhythm in his chest. He thought back to that day when he was assigned his genin team. How he had thought it was ridiculous for his soulmate to be one of his students. How he couldn't fathom falling in love with someone so much younger. But he had and so easily. From the love of a sensei to a mentor to a friend. He wondered if he would have fallen in love with her if he hadn't been expecting it. If he hadn't always know he was destined to.

A light tug on his pants brought him back to the present and he looked over at Sakura. She smiled at him, "Where's your mind running off to now?"

"Mah, nowhere. I'm right here with you," he told her, not really thinking about it.

Sakura blushed a light pink and looked away from him. Kakashi grinned and nudged her with his knee, "Don't be nervous, Sakura-chan."

She looked back to him with a small smile. She let out a deep breath and nodded, "Okay."

They were quiet for a moment and then she asked him, "Will you go with me?"

Kakashi looked at her surprised and tried to think of an excuse, "Sakura, I…"

Sakura shook her head, apparently changing her mind, "No, forget I asked. Um, how about if I come over after then?"

"You know you don't have to ask," Kakashi avoided her eyes, "Come over if you want to, I'll be here."

Kakashi felt her chakra flare before she had even came through the door. He wasn't surprised, he had actually been waiting for her. Terrified of when she would come by, but also at the same time scared she wouldn't.

"Kakashi!" she yelled as she flung the door open. She headed straight towards the living room and found him sitting on his couch. She had tears in her eyes and looked angrier than he had ever seen her. It made his heart break.

She grabbed his right arm and yanked his sleeve up. Her breath caught seeing her name and she looked at him betrayed, "You knew! You _knew_ and you never told me!"

"Sakura –"

"No," she pointed a finger at him, " _Don't_." Tears started to run down her face and her voice broke, "Why? _Why_ did you never tell me? I was so scared and you – you! "

"Sakura, please, I didn't want you to…just don't freak out. I –" Kakashi was at a loss of what to say with how broken Sakura looked in front of him. She wasn't as angry as she had been just seconds ago, looking more upset than anything.

"I thought – I thought that all the times you told me that I could love whoever I wanted was because you…" Sakura's voice was barely audible and her hand came up to push her hair out of her face, "Kami, I was so _stupid_. You didn't want me. You never wanted me. You wanted me to try to be with someone else. My own soulmate doesn't even love me back. All this time…"

Kakashi grabbed her hands panicked and stood up, "Sakura, no –"

"What is it? What's wrong with me?" she looked up at him as tears poured over her cheeks, "Do you still just see me as a pathetic little girl? Am I not pretty or – or smart or –"

"Hey, hey," Kakashi's hands came up to hold her face and she finally stopped her babbling, "Sakura, I don't think that. I don't think _any_ of that. You are not pathetic and you never have been."

He pressed his forehead against hers and met her eyes, "You are so beautiful." Her breath caught as his fingers moved from her face to her hair, "At first I thought your hair was ridiculous, because really, _pink_ for a ninja?" Sakura glared at him, but he held her still, "But it suits you. It's just as vibrant as you are and it feels like silk when I run my fingers through it."

He trailed his hand down to her arm to her hand, interlocking his fingers with her shaking ones, "And you skin is so soft over your long smooth muscles." Sakura blushed and he stroked a thumb across her skin, "You have the most amazing chakra control and strength, have even surpassed the Godaime. Don't ever think you're weak. That's ridiculous."

He tugged on her hand and pulled her closer against him. She gasped, but her eyes never left his and he told her, "You are the most incredible woman I have ever met and I couldn't wish for someone better as my soulmate."

A few more tears escaped Sakura's eyes and she smiled at him, "So, you _do_ love me?"

"How could I not?" he answered, his voice coming out a little shaky.

Her hand came up to his cheek and he leaned into her touch. Her fingers gripped the edge of his mask and Kakashi gently grabbed her hand, "Sakura…are you sure?"

She looked at him confused and he asked her, his heart beating loudly in his ears, "You're not disappointed?"

She laughed, "Disappointed? I'm happy, Kakashi, _happy_."

He let go of her hand and she tugged down his mask. He expected her to stare at his face, he had hidden it from her for so long. But Sakura never did what he expected. She only looked maybe a second, before pressing her lips against his. He kissed her and she tasted so sweet and _warm_. Her hand left his and her arms locked around his neck. His hands went to her waist and the back of his knees hit the couch. He fell to the couch, bringing Sakura with him and she giggled against his mouth. He smiled and left her mouth to kiss along her cheek, tasting the salt from her tears.

She pulled away from him, her hair framed around her face like a curtain. She smiled down at him and Kakashi had never thought someone looked so beautiful than in that moment. And in a sweet voice she told him, "I love you. I have for years."

Kakashi's hand came up to stroke a thumb across her cheek, "Me too, Sakura. _Always_." His lips met hers again and he wondered how he could ever leave them.


End file.
